Time to reinvent myself .. again!


If you want to change yourself, you have to see yourself differently first.

Little did I know, when I first started this blog (and then abandoned it), that I would soon be writing about actually reinventing myself. From scratch!

I thought this was all about weight loss and changing my image to try to get over my image dysmorphic disorder but it turns out that life decided it was really about changing everything! I mean everything!

Two days before my 58th birthday I lost my job of 12 years after a year of harassment and hostile interactions with the new manager. He called me on the phone to tell me! Coward! After I said I would come and clean out my locker in the next couple of days the bitch actually said ‘Have a nice day’ in this totally smarmy smug voice. He’s so dysfunctional, himself that, after seeing him in full face on performance mode, my union rep agreed with me that we need to stop this guy! He’s dangerous!

Now, don’t get me wrong. He’s really, really good at his job! He’s a superb number cruncher and the best hatchet man I’ve ever worked with and I’ve seen a few really good ones kick and claw their way up our company ladder! He will go far! He’s just way too close to ‘real life’ right now. He needs to be further up the food chain and let people who are good with people work with the people. Otherwise, my little law suit is going to be petty cash compared to what’s going to happen in the future!

So, back on topic. I’m unemployed now so that means no insurance! No insurance means no meds. No meds means I’m totally unemployable as is. Believe it or not, I can’t get full on Welfare unless I am unemployable! Really! I can get food stamps but no financial aid or health care help! What a strange country we live in! If I’m looking for work and being honest about it, I can’t get shit. If I lie (which isn’t exactly a lie anyway though I’d like to believe I can work like this), I can get full benefits including retraining! Which is a good thing. I’ve decided the last type of job I want is the type I had!

So here I am. Unemployed, unemployable, at risk for all kinds of bipolar, depression and OCD behavior, 58 and not coping very well with any of this. What I hope to accomplish with this blog is: keep myself together, maybe help someone else in my position or worse and work out of this very deep depression I’m stuck in by writing. Something I used to love to do.

By the way, the cats say hi.

Update July 2014 .. And then life got really interesting!

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